There (in the ER) it was of great comfort to know my flesh was in good hands but that was nothing compared to comfort of knowing my spirit was in greater hands.

Last thursday (June 26th) I ruptured my Achilles tendon on a broken pipe. It is not a day that I would gladly go back to or go through again but to be honest I am glad it happened. I am beginning to believe more every day now that God answers prayers and if you pursue Him He will gladly pursue you back. Well in the last year or so (the beginning of the adventure He freely gives) I have continued to learn that His pursuit is more exciting then anyone else's. Simply... profoundly... the Lord is unpredictable.

I remember after the accident lying on the floor next to a blaring tractor. There was no one around and I was bleeding excessively through my hands. The pain was pretty bad but it was two other feelings within that moment that made my tears. It was a moment that I felt completely helpless and completely alone.

After the craziness I sat in the ER for a couple hours waiting to go into surgery feeling pretty ashamed. Back at the accident I knew I was not alone and I also knew that help was on the way. For the rest of that night I had a sickness in my stomach. There are people who are utterly alone, without Christ and others also without help. How crazy is that? I felt so overwhelmed for a minute with a feeling that some may have to live with on a daily basis.

Lord take my life, I do not want it. When I am living in a comfortable suburban home not worrying about surviving but worrying about how long I have to gimp around, I do not want to be in control anymore. Lord you are sovereign and you are in control already. You have broken my flesh so that my spirit may also be broken for you. May I turn to you now and truly follow your will and your way. And if I still do not recognize tear my other leg and break my arms. My body has been a source of pride and my pride turns my spirit from you. You have taken my leg now receive my body and spirit. This is my prayer: May I be sweetly broken for you. I love you and thank you Lord